Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Hang In There!

"As I look back on my life, I realize that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good; I was actually being re-directed to something better. You must convince your heart that whatever Allah has decreed is most appropriate and most beneficial for you."

~ Abu Hamid al-Ghazali

Monday, January 4, 2016

#GIRLBOSS

Aku mungkin tidak berasa di tempat yang aku rencanakan, tetapi aku berada di tempat yang aku butuhkan.
~ Douglas Adams

Semoga ini menjadi penyemangatku untuk tetap percaya diri, tetap fokus pada yang aku mau dan yakini, tetap berjuang untuk mandiri di atas kaki sendiri. Bukan untuk membuktikan kepada siapa-siapa, tapi hanya untuk diriku sendiri dan untuk keluargaku.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

I am Happier This Way

Starting this week, my daughter is going to daycare when I go to work. It's more exhausting of course to be a working mother without support from other. But actually I am happier with this condition. Being independent, more responsible, more relying each other (with hubby), and feel more worthy as a mother, as a wife.

Also I am back to cooking again. One of hobby that left because of too much focusing on work. This week I tried spaghetti and vegetables saute. Just simple cooking. Will share the recipes on another post!

Now, get back to daughter and hubby after blog marathon post!
See you again in (hope) near time :)

Halal Bihalal

Halal bihalal is a tradition to forgive each other after celebrate Idul Fitri or Lebaran. Some of this year halal bihalal is captured in photos below.

 First halal bihalal with hubby's elementary school friends

And then with CSTS-Tripatra @ Ikan Bakar Cianjur

 
And then with CSTS Team @ Hotel Amaroosaa

This is with Singgar fellows @ Senci
 
Happy!

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Mind Only The Important

Everyone can talk anything about me, can do anything to me. But the most important thing is I am OK with myself, my loved one is OK with myself, and my real family is accepting me the way I am.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Ramadhan is (Almost) Over

Yesterday I did depressuring overtime at office.
Today I do ironing overtime at home.
Tomorrow is Idul Fitri and Ramadhan then is over.
What have I done during this holy month?
I realized I have not done something special. Not increasing worship either.
Too much working, too much complaining.
Still very far from an obeyed Muslim, a mature person..
Forgive me Allah, for being so imperfect and done so much wrong things..
Hope I can still struggle doing good things inside and outside. Only care to what's needed to be cared.
Thank you for all of what You have given to me. It's more than enough.

Wishing all of you Happy Idul Fitri.
Please forgive my mistakes.
And hopefully we can meet Ramadhan again next year, and do better. Aamiin.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Thoughts

I see so many people, in social media. With their status, photos, videos, moments.. I've been there too. Posting everything about what happened in my life every single day. But it's not so much pleasure anymore doing that. Since some negative things happened because of it, not all but some. Some people also put their updates so much so they can show off what they have. But you know, all the updates is not 100% real. It just capture the good side. If you know what's behind, then you realize. It's just a mask.

But who am I judging people? I just think, I only want to still update with this blog, other social media that I have is only supporting the blog. Why? Because only person who really wants to know, who will put the blog address in their browser.

I wish I can have much time writing regularly. Like tonight. My daughter is sleep earlier than usual. And I have some time to spill my thoughts.. Do more what makes me happy.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

This Blog, One Year

This December, this blog is turning to one year. Yeayyy! Although I know it is not updated regularly. Oh forgive me for i-got-no-time for doing regular post. There is so much in my head but difficult to write and finish even a post in almost three months. But it's OK. This post will prove that I'm still alive. Haha.

My daughter has turning to two years also. Remember about my first post in this blog? I write the first post when she is turning to one year. This year we only have a simple celebration at home, not going to particular place with all of my family members, just because so many things happened in this year that I can't tell about it here and because so many expending in money things. Hihi. But the most important is my daughter is healthy and keep developing her ability after reach two years old. Aamiin.

Hmm.. I think that's all for today. Very very short post indeed. It's only to prove that I'm still here, I say before. Hope I can manage better my blog and.. my life. Cheers people :)

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

She's Gone

Saturday early morning (20/9/14), phone rang and suddenly I got up from my sleep. I saw who was calling, my mother. My heart was beating faster, because somehow I knew something not good happened. She's gone. My beloved grand mother is gone.

Only prayers that I can sent to her.. because I know, I did not do much while she was sick. May Allah accepts your kindness, Nek, for being mother for three generations, forgives your mistakes, and puts you in Jannah. Aamiin.  I also want to say thank you for people who nursed her when she was sick, my mother and all of my cousins who live in Bandung. I know we had done the best for her recovery, but Allah has better plan for her :'|

Now.. There won't be your pic again Nek if we travel to some places.. But don't worry, you're always still in my heart. Till we meet again, Nek.. I hope :)

Happy Moments with My Beloved Grandmom

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Arkadia

For several months, I went work to Arkadia Office Park. Located in South Jakarta, at TB Simatupang Street, this place is a green, comfortable, yet pretty fun to work inside there. Many trees planted, many places to eat to choose, from the cheap until the expensive one, from the food court until restaurant like Solaria and Starbucks, complete ATM center, bank, sports & spa center, etc. There are also food, clothes, and other type bazaar, also live music every month. It's like one stop living for people who work there. 

I kind of feeling closer to be a client (hahahah) since we are sharing tower with BP and PHE. Like to be more fashionable when went to office and feel happy can meet the face I have known before. Oh those times.. Only two days I had left from Arkadia but I miss it hehehe.. Except the access gate I think. Because of that thing, I come back to Tripatra Head Office hihihi..

Here I post some photos about this place, but taken from other source since I had not taken any photo there.

 Tower C or "Angin-Angin" where is so windy and many bazaars hold in this place 

Nestle Tower

Tower D (right) where I worked
 
 Greeny Corners

The Ambiance

The Fountain

Fish Pond

Swimming Pool

Tennis Court

The Bazaar

 Last but not least, sport I used to do in Lifespa: Step

And now I am thinking to go back there!!! Haha.. silly thoughts :p


Monday, September 1, 2014

Positivity

Surround yourself with positive and happy people, and than you surprisingly become one of them. Just smile, seek the best inside of you, do what you wanna reach, reach them, and than your smile becomes bigger than before. Repeat the cycle and forget negative feelings and negative people out there..

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Say What You Need To Say

After I decide to say what I want to say to the person who has the authority about something that disturb my head (and my heart), and then being responded by her/him, suddenly positive feelings come inside. There is still hesitation about my decision though. Is it right? Is it better than what I'm doing right now? Will I be happy with this decision? But the most important thing is I don't talk behind, grumble, and feel negative about myself anymore.

So what are you searching in this life? This life is too short to think about things that we don't like. There are sooo many options to do things what we like. If you don't like something, change it, speak up. If you don't do anything about it, than you must ready to accept it.

I remember a song that resembles this feeling of me right now. It's a song by John Mayer, "Say What You Need To Say". Here I rewrite the beautiful lyrics.

Take out of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all your so called problems
Better put them in quotations
Say what you need to say
(Repeat)

Walkin' like a one man army
Fightin' with the shadows in your head
Livin' out the same old moment
Knowin' youd be better off instead
If you could only
Say what you need to say
(Repeat)

Have no fear for givin' in
Have no fear for givin' over
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Than to never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shakin'
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closin'
Do it with a heart wide open
A wide heart
Say what you need to say
(Repeat)

Sing! :D

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Unwanted

Have you ever felt in position when you are a part of a group but a condition made you feel you are not part of the group, or when you thrown from one place to another place without knowing which place is the place that needs you, or simply feeling unwanted? I have.

I can not tell you the details, but I think about that problem for two days, feel that I am worthless (oh sorry, for having that negative feelings), tell some people that I trust about this feelings many times. And than I realize.. A problem is not the problem, a problem is how you react the problem. Today I make decision not to drawn into the problem. I made the conclusion that this problem is not a BIG problem. Like adding one routine in a day won't hurt you. Or this problem actually is not my authority to decide. The most important thing is I can still do what I have and need to do here and make the best of it, every SINGLE day. And I still get what it should be. As simple as that.

Although there is still a lump inside my head (and my heart), I try to accept it. If I can't accept it, better to talk with the person that has the authority. Please pray for me so I can talk properly, without adding any bad emotions on it. Hehehe.

That's all for my story today.
Keep smiling :)

Friday, August 15, 2014

What I Think and Feel About Being Process Engineer

What kind of a job is process engineer? Process engineer is a people that designs system and equipments in process industrial, such as in oil and gas industry, petrochemical industry, consumer goods industry, food industry, etc. For example, fuel that we use for our vehicle. It comes from petroleum. To change the petroleum that we get from bowels of the earth, to oil fuel that can turn on our vehicle machine, we need to process the petroleum in a system that contains many equipments. We usually call that system and equipments as refinery. Process engineer designs refinery (but refinery is only one of example what a process engineer usually designs). Those are explanation that I usually tell to other people who ask about my job. A little bit difficult huh?

How can I have a work as process engineer? Because I take Chemical Engineering major in college. Many options can be chosen by Chemical Engineering graduate. We can be a lecturer (assistant), an engineer, a consultant, a manager (assistant), even an entrepreneur, or we can work in a bank, in ministry of government, and any other work place. 

After I graduated, I was not really know about what job should I do or where place should I work. I follow some recruitment process at campus. From oil and gas company like Chevron and Pertamina, oil service company like Schlumberger and Halliburton, FMCG (Fast Moving Consumer Goods) like Unilever and Kraft, engineering company like Tripatra (company where I work now), fertilizer plant like PKT Bontang, until milk factory like Ultra Jaya. Those are the company that I can remember. How is the result? Chevron, I failed in psychological test. Pertamina, I didn't come to the interview in Jakarta. Schlumberger, I didn't pass the English question test. Halliburton, I didn't pass the group discussion. Unilever, I failed in user interview. Kraft, I came late to the test. Tripatra, I didn't come to the test. PKT Bontang, I didn't come to user interview since I feel the location of the plant is far from my family. In the end, I wanted to work at Ultra because the location is near my grandma's house but I failed again in the writing test!!! What a life. 

Between my waiting time to get a job, I actually worked in my lecturer's laboratory, do some research for him. And then came the offering to be a lecturer in my campus. And I tried it. At that time, bachelor's degree only can be a lecturer assistant. If want to be a lecturer, I must have a master and doctoral degree. Thinking about learning again as a student and there is a chance to learn abroad made me enthusiast. For several months I worked as lecturer assistant in my campus but it turned to feeling that I didn't belong there. I think it was because my communication skill is not good, especially to make connection with other lecturers and other employees in my campus. And I felt very very down, I blame myself. Why am I an introvert person? Why I don't have good communication skill? Why I don't have that soft skills that always been told by many people that when you are start working, you not only need intelligence but also soft skills? Why? Why? Why? I kept blaming myself and start taking conclusion that I am a FAILED person. I study in one of best college in this nation. I pass the test to study in one of excellence major in this college. I have graduated with a good grades. But I don't have a job, either survive in my choice to be a lecturer.

But fortunately my family always encouraged me to apply another job. Just try the opportunities out there. Thank you for my sister, she gave me a vacancy info at her work place, Enerkon (engineering local company). I apply to Enerkon, also tried apply to IKPT and Garuda Food. It turned out that Enerkon gave faster respond than other company. I interviewed two times with HRD and user, and I passed it. Thanks God. And the journey as process engineer begin.

I can not say that my journey as process engineer is a smooth journey. In the beginning time I worked at Enerkon, I got confused. Why there was not any job for me to do? At that time, oil and gas project is kind of slack. But fortunately, gradually, there was a job for me, from helped my senior's work until I was trusted to do my own job and involved in a project. I was happy when I was working there. The people are kind and still have a great kinship feelings between the employee. But I didn't stop there. My confidence has coming back and after one year worked in Enerkon, I braced up myself to apply to another company. I tried Singgar Mulia (also engineering local company) and Total. But.. I failed again in Total. In the second interview with HRD Manager (hahaha). Fortunately I passed Singgar Mulia interview although most of question that asked to me whether I have done some documents or not, my answers were mostly not (hehehe). 

Singgar Mulia, a place where I work for three years. Also not smooth as my guess. I can say, higher salary means higher responsibility (like great power means great responsibility in Spiderman movie). But I have not ready actually. I kept compare it with my previous company because in Enerkon, I just feel comfort. New company means new place, new environment, new friends.. And I came back to my trouble: communication skills. Because in new place, I must start all over again. But Allah is good to me. Singgar Mulia was still giving me opportunity even I did a fatal error there. But I tried to survive after all, with support from my family and my boyfriend (that now is my hubby). The fact that I must saving money to hold a marriage ceremony, gives me encouragement to keep working (hahaha). But I get more than that in there. I get knowledge, experience, and friendship. Until the farewell.

Now, I work at Tripatra, a company that I had applied when already graduate but I didn't attend the test. Is it a destiny? Maybe. In the beginning, same as when I worked in Enerkon and Singgar Mulia, I don't have a job to do (hahaha) because the project that is promised for me has not started yet (until now). So what am I doing to do here? Fortunately, there is a project that needs a process engineer but located not in Tripatra Head Office. So, I am mobilized to Arkadia, doing PHE project. Yes, PHE again, after in Singgar Mulia I also do the PHE projects. But it's ok, better than doing nothing right? Actually, I am now in stand by position because the PHE project has been finished. Then I am contemplating again. What should I do?

I remember, when I was in stand by position, neither in Enerkon and in Singgar, mostly I do nothing. When there is an engineering question in my mind, I end up with forgetting it and not find the answer. But there is a moment that I am (very very) regretting this part of me. That happen when I interviewed in Saipem. The interview was so technical. All of process engineering stuff was asked to me. And.. some of the interview questions actually are questions that had appeared in my mind before. But because of my laziness, I never try to find the answers. I was being told by the interviewer that with my number of experiences, I should know the answers. And than I am being compared with my college friends that has work there shortly after graduated, that my knowledge is far below their knowledge. I am very sad but I know, this is my own fault.

Here in Tripatra, I meet a senior that always encourage me to do every day learning even though we don't have a work to do. In the beginning, I feel burdened by his questions. But I realize, this is the right way to pass the day if we don't have a work to do at office! Because in the end of the day, after I try to find the answers of his questions (and get the answer), I don't get bored in office and somehow I feel worthy to come to the office (not feeling guilty because of leaving my daughter at home) as well as I feel worthy as process engineer.

And then I remember I have this blog. Writing is one of my passion actually. And it's a great idea to combine a thing that I do (my job) and the thing that I love (writing). So I am starting again to write, not only write post as a mother, but also write as engineer, like the title of my blog. Multiply engineering post than privacy post. Hope I can consistent doing it!

Last words, a knowledge is not about your grades in college. A knowledge can be our knowledge if we have tried doing it, feel understand about it, and share it to other people. That's what I do in my blog now. After doing something in my job, I try to understand it and post it to my blog so I can change that knowledge into MY knowledge. It's OK if you don't know about something because in workplace, we work as a team, but never stop learning. Never pass a day without doing something useful. And after all, I should stop saying that I don't have a good communication skills. Because writing is one of way to communicate, right? Although I admit that I have to improve my verbal communication ;p

Just be yourself dear.. Find what you love to do, do what you love and love what you do. If you want have friends, be a good friend. As simple as that :)

Oh God.. this writing is somehow relieving me and my worries.. :)
Do your best today! So you won't regret it.
Past gives experiences, future gives hopes, but still.. live the present.
Because the sentence itself tells us that it is a present.

Cheers :)

Monday, February 17, 2014

Family Comes First

This situation, when you must choose a choice between two choices, is not an easy thing. Money seems more interesting than the others. But when you are married, family always comes first, not money or any other things. I hope I choose the right choice, for me, for my baby, and for my hubby. I hope..


Wednesday, January 29, 2014

My Heart Feels Pain

I still can feel that feelings.. a mixed feeling between anger, disappoint, and sad. But mostly is sad feelings..

I know, we must walking forward no matter what other people said about us. Because no matter what we do, even goodness, still, other people will talk anything about you.

This, I choice this path to be a mother and still working is a choice that I think best for my family, for my future, for my kids. Is it wrong?

Many people outside there compare between a working mom and a stay at home mom. Some people says stay at home mom is better, some other people says the opposite.

Working mom or stay at home mom are the same, buddy. They both are MOTHER. The only different thing is her choice. But I'm sure, every mother will choose the best for her family, her kids..

In sadness.. there is always a sentence that cheer you up and make you feel better. I hope from now, I will not feel this sadness anymore. Still moving forward to reach better future with my hubby, my baby, and my family. Still be self-supporting and still can start kindness to others. Oh, and I won't let those negative people harm my feelings anymore.


"Sesungguhnya di antara dosa-dosa itu, ada yang tidak dapat terhapus dengan puasa dan shalat". Maka para sahabat pun bertanya: "Apakah yang dapat menghapusnya, wahai Rasulullah?" Beliau menjawab: "Bersusah payah dalam mencari nafkah."" (HR.Bukhari)

"Siapa saja pada sore hari bersusah payah dalam bekerja, maka sore itu ia diampuni" (HR. Thabrani dan lbnu Abbas)

"Barangsiapa yang bekerja keras mencari nafkah untuk keluarganya, maka sama dengan pejuang di jalan Allah 'Azza Wa Jalla". (HR. Ahmad)