What I Think and Feel About Being Process Engineer

What kind of a job is process engineer? Process engineer is a people that designs system and equipments in process industrial, such as in oil and gas industry, petrochemical industry, consumer goods industry, food industry, etc. For example, fuel that we use for our vehicle. It comes from petroleum. To change the petroleum that we get from bowels of the earth, to oil fuel that can turn on our vehicle machine, we need to process the petroleum in a system that contains many equipments. We usually call that system and equipments as refinery. Process engineer designs refinery (but refinery is only one of example what a process engineer usually designs). Those are explanation that I usually tell to other people who ask about my job. A little bit difficult huh?

How can I have a work as process engineer? Because I take Chemical Engineering major in college. Many options can be chosen by Chemical Engineering graduate. We can be a lecturer (assistant), an engineer, a consultant, a manager (assistant), even an entrepreneur, or we can work in a bank, in ministry of government, and any other work place. 

After I graduated, I was not really know about what job should I do or where place should I work. I follow some recruitment process at campus. From oil and gas company like Chevron and Pertamina, oil service company like Schlumberger and Halliburton, FMCG (Fast Moving Consumer Goods) like Unilever and Kraft, engineering company like Tripatra (company where I work now), fertilizer plant like PKT Bontang, until milk factory like Ultra Jaya. Those are the company that I can remember. How is the result? Chevron, I failed in psychological test. Pertamina, I didn't come to the interview in Jakarta. Schlumberger, I didn't pass the English question test. Halliburton, I didn't pass the group discussion. Unilever, I failed in user interview. Kraft, I came late to the test. Tripatra, I didn't come to the test. PKT Bontang, I didn't come to user interview since I feel the location of the plant is far from my family. In the end, I wanted to work at Ultra because the location is near my grandma's house but I failed again in the writing test!!! What a life. 

Between my waiting time to get a job, I actually worked in my lecturer's laboratory, do some research for him. And then came the offering to be a lecturer in my campus. And I tried it. At that time, bachelor's degree only can be a lecturer assistant. If want to be a lecturer, I must have a master and doctoral degree. Thinking about learning again as a student and there is a chance to learn abroad made me enthusiast. For several months I worked as lecturer assistant in my campus but it turned to feeling that I didn't belong there. I think it was because my communication skill is not good, especially to make connection with other lecturers and other employees in my campus. And I felt very very down, I blame myself. Why am I an introvert person? Why I don't have good communication skill? Why I don't have that soft skills that always been told by many people that when you are start working, you not only need intelligence but also soft skills? Why? Why? Why? I kept blaming myself and start taking conclusion that I am a FAILED person. I study in one of best college in this nation. I pass the test to study in one of excellence major in this college. I have graduated with a good grades. But I don't have a job, either survive in my choice to be a lecturer.

But fortunately my family always encouraged me to apply another job. Just try the opportunities out there. Thank you for my sister, she gave me a vacancy info at her work place, Enerkon (engineering local company). I apply to Enerkon, also tried apply to IKPT and Garuda Food. It turned out that Enerkon gave faster respond than other company. I interviewed two times with HRD and user, and I passed it. Thanks God. And the journey as process engineer begin.

I can not say that my journey as process engineer is a smooth journey. In the beginning time I worked at Enerkon, I got confused. Why there was not any job for me to do? At that time, oil and gas project is kind of slack. But fortunately, gradually, there was a job for me, from helped my senior's work until I was trusted to do my own job and involved in a project. I was happy when I was working there. The people are kind and still have a great kinship feelings between the employee. But I didn't stop there. My confidence has coming back and after one year worked in Enerkon, I braced up myself to apply to another company. I tried Singgar Mulia (also engineering local company) and Total. But.. I failed again in Total. In the second interview with HRD Manager (hahaha). Fortunately I passed Singgar Mulia interview although most of question that asked to me whether I have done some documents or not, my answers were mostly not (hehehe). 

Singgar Mulia, a place where I work for three years. Also not smooth as my guess. I can say, higher salary means higher responsibility (like great power means great responsibility in Spiderman movie). But I have not ready actually. I kept compare it with my previous company because in Enerkon, I just feel comfort. New company means new place, new environment, new friends.. And I came back to my trouble: communication skills. Because in new place, I must start all over again. But Allah is good to me. Singgar Mulia was still giving me opportunity even I did a fatal error there. But I tried to survive after all, with support from my family and my boyfriend (that now is my hubby). The fact that I must saving money to hold a marriage ceremony, gives me encouragement to keep working (hahaha). But I get more than that in there. I get knowledge, experience, and friendship. Until the farewell.

Now, I work at Tripatra, a company that I had applied when already graduate but I didn't attend the test. Is it a destiny? Maybe. In the beginning, same as when I worked in Enerkon and Singgar Mulia, I don't have a job to do (hahaha) because the project that is promised for me has not started yet (until now). So what am I doing to do here? Fortunately, there is a project that needs a process engineer but located not in Tripatra Head Office. So, I am mobilized to Arkadia, doing PHE project. Yes, PHE again, after in Singgar Mulia I also do the PHE projects. But it's ok, better than doing nothing right? Actually, I am now in stand by position because the PHE project has been finished. Then I am contemplating again. What should I do?

I remember, when I was in stand by position, neither in Enerkon and in Singgar, mostly I do nothing. When there is an engineering question in my mind, I end up with forgetting it and not find the answer. But there is a moment that I am (very very) regretting this part of me. That happen when I interviewed in Saipem. The interview was so technical. All of process engineering stuff was asked to me. And.. some of the interview questions actually are questions that had appeared in my mind before. But because of my laziness, I never try to find the answers. I was being told by the interviewer that with my number of experiences, I should know the answers. And than I am being compared with my college friends that has work there shortly after graduated, that my knowledge is far below their knowledge. I am very sad but I know, this is my own fault.

Here in Tripatra, I meet a senior that always encourage me to do every day learning even though we don't have a work to do. In the beginning, I feel burdened by his questions. But I realize, this is the right way to pass the day if we don't have a work to do at office! Because in the end of the day, after I try to find the answers of his questions (and get the answer), I don't get bored in office and somehow I feel worthy to come to the office (not feeling guilty because of leaving my daughter at home) as well as I feel worthy as process engineer.

And then I remember I have this blog. Writing is one of my passion actually. And it's a great idea to combine a thing that I do (my job) and the thing that I love (writing). So I am starting again to write, not only write post as a mother, but also write as engineer, like the title of my blog. Multiply engineering post than privacy post. Hope I can consistent doing it!

Last words, a knowledge is not about your grades in college. A knowledge can be our knowledge if we have tried doing it, feel understand about it, and share it to other people. That's what I do in my blog now. After doing something in my job, I try to understand it and post it to my blog so I can change that knowledge into MY knowledge. It's OK if you don't know about something because in workplace, we work as a team, but never stop learning. Never pass a day without doing something useful. And after all, I should stop saying that I don't have a good communication skills. Because writing is one of way to communicate, right? Although I admit that I have to improve my verbal communication ;p

Just be yourself dear.. Find what you love to do, do what you love and love what you do. If you want have friends, be a good friend. As simple as that :)

Oh God.. this writing is somehow relieving me and my worries.. :)
Do your best today! So you won't regret it.
Past gives experiences, future gives hopes, but still.. live the present.
Because the sentence itself tells us that it is a present.

Cheers :)